


A Waltz Among Tedious Hopes

by thanatopis



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, Origins, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 17:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1122335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanatopis/pseuds/thanatopis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thief is unlike anyone she has ever encountered and that both unsettles and intrigues her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Waltz Among Tedious Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> So basically this is an AU I’ve had in my head for the _longest_ where Erwin Smith is born as a woman who is just as ruthless and detached (debatably even more so than canon!Erwin..) because of the gender inequality that takes place in the military (I highly suspect it’s there..)
> 
> So Fem!Erwin becomes this feared, almost infamous character during her younger years. She schemes and she uses her beauty, assets, natural charm, and charisma to manipulate things for the SL’s favor. In my headcanon, the UST between her and Levi is how she gets him to stay.. _at first_. Levi of course in the beginning loathes her, but so badly wants in her pants so he puts up with shit. She of course knows this and uses his attraction for her as an advantage for the scouting legion, so she leads him on in little teasing ways—not overly blatant, but it’s enough. _The horse chasing the carrot on the string…_
> 
> It’s all fine and dandy until they actually get to know each other and they of course fall in love.
> 
> By this time they know each other better than anyone else and Levi has stopped his pursuit of getting in fem!erwin’s pants because he respects her so fucking much and he knows she doesn’t need that shit. So basically they have this thing where they _know_ but never act on it, because there is no time for goddamn romance when your ass is dealing with government corruption and goddamn titans!

Evelyn has never seen anything like it before.

A boy—a _thief_ —handling 3D maneuver gear with such fluidity and outstanding ease that she momentary forgets that she and Mike are supposed to detain and apprehend this young man for his various crimes against the capitol.

Evelyn questions whether or not he’s had prior experience, because the agility and strength in which the raven haired young man moves and pivots his body for the desired motion is something no short of confident ease and outstanding grace. Not even those higher up than Mike or herself have demonstrated mobility with such poise. 

Evelyn finds herself brushing off the other two companions the boy travels with casual indifference. The thieves do not possesses the same talents and natural skill, without it, Evelyn honestly has no further interests. All of her attention has been forcibly captured by the aerial figure feet above the cobblestone. 

Evelyn watches the spectacle with bright eyes, only willing to interfere in the proceedings if things go too far for her own liking. 

She watches the boy fly into the air in a high arch, fast and agile as a crowd of men, woman, and children gather behind Evelyn to gawk at the astounding spectacle. The boy lands harshly on the back of one of the thugs with a hard, bone cracking _thump_ and the sound reverberates throughout the underground like a beat of a drum.

He stands proud as if the thug’s body is his own personal perch and Evelyn can see no sign of exertion as he looks back towards his confidants, muttering something too far away for Evelyn to correctly catch.   

He’s glorious, she thinks, seized from the soles of her feet from the entire display. The boy, whoever he is, has gained her undivided attention. 

Evelyn watches with odd sort of delight as his hooks connect with hard stone and plaster. As he flies up, the young thug seems to realize the eyes at his back, burning holes through the very core of him.

He looks over his shoulder, an expression of pure boredom and distain; until he sees _her_. His pale eyes shine brilliantly for a quick moment and Evelyn’s sure she would have missed the sight if she hadn’t been watching him so intently. 

They widen noticeably a second later, much to Evelyn’s satisfaction as his lips part on a breath. The moment, as short as it may be, spans like minuets, a conversation without words as he hovers in the air and her safely on the ground.

He hastily flies up the wall in the next second. 

…

“You’re a very hard man to play catch-up with.” 

Evelyn has him cornered for the time being. Mike volunteered to go after the other two after he saw her budding interest in their leader. He didn’t comment on it. Though the questioning look he shot her way before he flew off was enough.

_We’ll talk about this later, Evelyn…_

Evelyn surmises the young man has to be somewhat curious about her as well because he could have easily gone up the wall by now. Instead his feet stay rooted to the ground and for that Evelyn is grateful. It is beyond difficult to talk reason when you are soaring through the air at dangerous speeds.

He doesn’t bother giving her a response, his mouth turning down into an even more severe frown. 

He considers her face a moment before eyeing her figure up and down slowly, as if assessing her abilities if it came down to a physical fight. He looks back at her face with an air of indifference that makes Evelyn flare uncharacteristically with childish anger as if he’s declared to himself he can undoubtedly take her if it comes down to fists.

Evelyn resists the urge to snort and tell the boy to have a bit more faith, but decides against it. 

Her abilities and strength is something that is usually underestimated about her. Evelyn considers being a woman to be one of her many given advantages in life, sadly, those who look down upon her because of her gender find out moments too late that “weakness” is not such the case. 

This boy—like it or not—will come to realize this as well.   

“You’re pretty good with that.” Evelyn gestures with her chin at his identical belts and straps. The movement causes some of her blond hair to fall in front of her eyes and obscure them. 

“Are you sure you haven’t had any prior experience with it? This all is just a little hard for me to believe.” Evelyn’s voice borders on almost conversational, using a tone of voice she knows set most people at ease around her. It makes her seem younger, friendlier, and somehow more relatable and it has never failed to work…until now.

“So you’re not going to speak to me, is that it?” She smiles, lips strained around the corners of her mouth and Evelyn takes a cautious step forward that the boy instantly recognizes without taking his eyes off her face.

“But you’re not going to run away?” She asks dubiously, understandably confused.

The boy shrugs his shoulders, and she notices for the first time how tired and old his eyes look in comparison to the rest of him. There is something oddly youthful about his features—he appears no more than 20, but when Evelyn looks into those pale eyes and sees the intensity that gleams ominously just beneath the surface, it surprises her. It also alerts her and keeps her conscious. 

She shifts her feet.

“It’s not everyday someone like _you_ , talks to someone like _me_.” He pauses, and then blinks, “Can’t say I’m in the best mood to _talk_ though—” He says almost as an afterthought, “—especially not to some military dog.” 

Throughout her time in the Scouting Legion, Evelyn has grown used to the vitriol and distain that is accompanied by the people’s dislike of paying lofty taxes, or the utter hopelessness of watching soldiers come back from the gates of hell and foolishly realizing your son or daughter—brother or sister—mostly likely never stood a chance.

Evelyn has long since built a barrier to shield herself from such compromising emotions. She has succeed thus far…until now when Evelyn hears the distain and hatred in those two words. It’s a quick lapse that she beats back into control but the knowledge is still there and she bows up defensively.

Evelyn’s eyes narrow and her fists ball up by her sides.

He snorts, contempt clouding his pale eyes.

“So sorry, would you like _bitch_ instead?” She can see his callous smirk all the way up the wall he propels himself up.

For some reason, Evelyn does not give chase. Not the one that is procedural anyway.

…

“Do you know what they say about you?” Levi asks her one afternoon as they walk side by side. The question is flippant and dispassionate, or at least is set up to be. 

Levi continues looking straight ahead, not taking the effort to glance up at her nor waiting or expecting answer right away—or even at all. 

When she doesn’t respond he continues. 

“They say that the only reason you took me in is because the whole idea of it makes you hot.”

She manages to stifle choking noise that violently works its way up her throat. In all honesty, she would much rather hear the other insults people whisper behind her back: the inferiority of her own gender, her questionable leading skills, the perverse theories of how she manages to convince the Brass of not cutting the Scouting Legion’s budget to near nothing. All those slights she has gotten used to with time, they hold as much significance as talk of the weather, but _this_ …

“The whole thug reform thing,” Levi so kindly clarifies, much to Evelyn’s growing mortification. There’s almost something… _electric_ in his gaze as he glances up at her through the fringe of his bangs. She just barely manages to resist the urge to look away.

 “Oh, really?” She says absentmindedly, contemplative pout etching her lips.

Levi continues to stare at her. 

“…Yes really, apparently you’re some kind of deviant to the masses. No one can understand why such a _pretty thing_ like you—” Levi’s says it almost mockingly, gesturing at her with a feeble wave of his fingers. “—is in charge of something so ugly like _this_ , so of course they think something is wrong with you.”  

She considers this for a moment, her pace gradually slowing to a near halt and Levi does the same.

“And what do you think, Levi?—is there something wrong with me?”

Levi looks at her for a moment more, the corner of his mouth dipping in contemplation before walking away with a huff.

Evelyn watches his retreat, her eyes on his broad back (the characteristic so odd for someone of his height and stature) and thinks indefinitely that something has to be.

…

“Are you going to kill me Levi?” 

Her knees are deep in a puddle and the sharp blade that is used for severing titan flesh is pressed along the tender pale skin of her throat. 

She gazes up at Levi with resolve, unashamed over her kneeling position before this man.

Levi looks back at her with a cold, hard stare that’s chillier than the rain pounding down briskly on the both of them.  

Levi pants, his chest rising and falling with erratic breathes and Evelyn wonders if he’s about to have one of his attacks. She’s only been a witness to one. Levi hadn’t anticipated her being there. When she saw him, huddled in the corner with his knees pressed to his chest, arms shakily wrapped around his body as if the action would make him disappear entirely, she knew she couldn’t leave him. 

_What can I do Levi? How can I help you?_

Evelyn has spent months getting to know and understand Levi and in turn, Levi has gotten to know and understand her. It’s unexpected—this development. They both don’t quite know what to do with the incredible fondness that has grown between the both of them. 

The feeling is more than unwise for someone of her ranking and resolve and Evelyn knows for a fact Levi feels the same for her, despite the conflicting views she knows rattle and plague his mind.

“ _Fuck_ —” Levi curses harshly under his breath and Evelyn see his grip on the blade handle waver ever so slightly. Levi’s teeth grind together insistently at the lapse in weakness and his eyes crinkle deeply in frustration. 

“Shit—I can’t—” The blade nicks the side of her neck and the sting of it makes her wince. Evelyn doesn’t bother wiping away the thick trail of red that decorates her skin pallidly. The rain washes it away unto her shirt collar, staining the side of it a pale pink.

Levi’s pale eyes look over her wildly. With a furious lunge, he throws the blade off to the side and it rattles loudly along the rocks. 

“ _Fuck!_ ” He shouts. The sound is pained, frantic, and most of all desperate. Levi closes his eyes with anguished whimper at the battle raging inside him. The sight leaves Evelyn heartbroken.

“This was…it was the fucking reason I joined the survey corps—to _kill you_ Evelyn…” 

She nods her head, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around him.

… 

“Evelyn—”

She barely has enough time to cover herself as Levi barges through the door, question on the tip of his tongue that he could probably figure out if he gave himself more credit. 

The door shuts loudly after him, somehow highlighting their predicament and Evelyn can hear the sudden pause of Levi’s footfalls against the wooden floor, the surprised catch of his breath and it fills her with a foreign sort of sensation. 

Whatever question he brought to her, it hangs in the air forgotten. 

Evelyn exhales slowly, looking over the curve of her shoulder where Levi’s gaze politely moves to the floor. She has to resist the urge to snort. 

“What have I told you about knocking?” She sighs, dropping her white button up shirt that is clutched around her chest—it’s rather useless now, isn’t it?

Evelyn simply chooses to ignore that the only piece of clothing she wears on her chest in the presence of another person is an undergarment that leaves nothing to the imagination as she looks down with a keen eye, scrutinizing her shirt.

Oddly, the cool fall breeze seems to roam over her skin in mild shivers that she easily represses, gooseflesh saunter along her back, along the arch of her spine up to the nape of her neck. Evelyn’s eyebrow arches, very odd indeed.

She fans the shirt in the air a few times, making sure any wrinkles she could have caused are gone and swings it over her shoulders, causing her hair tucked in-between her neck and shoulder to fall along her back. It takes only moments for her to button up and put her hair up in a make-shift bun and when she finally turns around, clearing her throat, Levi stares at her rather _peculiarly_.

He’s more than knowledgeable at how to cover up his true emotions, Evelyn is sure that if it was anyone else, they wouldn’t have noticed any change in Levi at all, but she knows better. 

You recognize your own kind.

Eyes, she surmises, are always the given point in which you can tell about a person’s true self in an instant. There is no widening of Levi’s eyes or even a telling twitch…but his pupils are blown and that simple observation gives Evelyn many conflicting feelings.

“You should really learn how to knock, Levi," She says after a pause, working the bolo tie beneath her shirt collar. Evelyn decides to ignore the shivers that cascade over her arms, the small of her back, and the swell of her chest.

Levi clicks his teeth, shifting his feet and putting a hand on his hip.

“Isn’t changing what your room's for, Evelyn?” He comments cheeky, putting just as much emphasis on her name as she did on his and it earns him an amused chuckle.

“Point taken, now what do you need?”


End file.
